Kelly Monaco: The Early Years

Did you ever wish you could go back in time and undo something that you did? Well, that is how I felt a few moments ago while googling a few names in my seventh grade yearbook.

You see, I don't watch television (I prefer to live life rather than watch a box) and I don't read gossip or entertainment magazines (I don't much care for distractions), so naturally I had no clue that a former classmate and co-worker had made a life for herself on the big screen, nor did I have any idea that she had posed nude for the world.

Now don't get me wrong; I don't judge. I am happy to hear that Kelly Monaco is doing well for herself. I just wish I wouldn't have looked at her very revealing pictures, that is all!

I want to go back to the Kelly Monaco who I remember from childhood. I want her to remain the teenage girl whom I sat in homeroom with: still young and innocent. I'd like to remember her as someone who occasionally acknowledged my existence and I equally did the same, yet who's naked body would never be more than a topic of conversation among pimple-faced teenage boys. Alas! I have ruined one of those coveted treasures of boyhood forever. She is no longer a mystery, but is now the one billionth naked woman I have seen in my lifetime. Thank you cyberspace!

I didn't know Kelly all that well, but I spent quite a few years in school with Kelly and her sister, Marissa. I went to Tobyhanna Elementary School with them, shared the same homeroom, played schoolyard football while Kelly and her friends watched us boys running around, etc. I literally watched her ascension into womanhood as I was making my own ascension into manhood, and I continued to do so all throughout our years at Pocono Mountain Junior High School. I also worked with her (during special club events), her twin sister Marissa (a busgirl) and her older sister Amber (a waitress) at Lake Naomi Clubhouse. As you can imagine, having been in the same school and classes as her, having worked with her and her sisters, and having been good friends with some of the guys she would date back in Junior High, I saw quite a bit of this girl (and now a whole lot more).

She was a nice girl, and if I recall correctly she was also fairly decent at sports. She was always very attractive so I'm not at all surprised that she was selected for a Playboy photo shoot. In fact, it was her shapeliness that made her the target of more than one de-pantsing, as well as a frequent intentional target during volleyball in gym class (the guys liked to watch her jump). She was the typical example of the attractive and popular girl that both nerds and jocks alike loved to look upon, but I knew her back in elementary school, so whenever she became the topic of adolescent boys I sorta always saw the girl on the playground.

As I said, I never knew Kelly all that well; in fact, I probably knew her older sister Amber better than both her and her twin sister Marissa due to the number of hours I put in as a dishwasher at Lake Naomi Clubhouse (which was a lot for a fourteen to fifteen year old kid), but I do remember her as a classmate who I saw often, who's papers I graded, who I spoke to, and who I probably knew more about than the millions of men (and women) who have now gazed upon her naked flesh - I think that is why I am disturbed.

I'm not disturbed because she decided to pose naked—that is her business and her decision—or that her naked body is splashed all over the Internet for the world to see, but because I ruined the image of her that I had built in my own mind. I was supposed to just remember the innocent schoolgirl, that is all! I wasn't supposed to actually listen when the article said, "CLICK HERE."

I am glad to know Kelly has accomplished so much for herself. I am glad to see she had such a prominent role on General Hospital , had a role in several films, won Dancing With The Stars , and has generally had a very successful acting career. I think all of these things are great and I wish her the absolute very best for her future.

I just want to turn back the clock to a few minutes ago when she was still a mystery of my boyhood. About fifteen minutes ago she was just another great face from childhood. She was another kid still untarnished by money and mayhem, and she still is. It's just that now she's also another harsh look at reality. She is a reminder that we all grow up, lose our innocence, and become consumers of this world; that we all throw away our innocence in exchange for a dream.

So take some advice from me the next time you dig out your old yearbooks from grade school and think before you click! Make sure that you want to know more than you need to and that you do not care how the memories you have are affected, especially if that someone you knew in childhood grew up and posed naked for a major adult magazine!

Playboy Playmate of the Month – April 1997

Maxim's Sexiest Cover Model of the Decade – 2009

Baywatch 1997-1998

Winner of the reality television series Dancing With The Stars (2005)

General Hospital (Sam McCall) – 2003 to 2011

Port Charles (Olivia Morley and Tess Ramsey) – 1999 thru 2003 and 2002 thru 2003

2009 Miss USA Pageant Judge

BASEketball (1998)

Idle Hands (1999)

Mumford (1999)

The Edge of the Garden (2011)